Memories...

I look back and say "WOW have things changed big time." The people i once called sisters, our more less people that go to my school. It hurts knowing the "4ever", didnt come true. But theres a bigger problem i have to address before i can address "friends," and thats finding me. Moving from the age of 9 years old, i've lost Jessica Solis. I dont know the meaning of that name. Who is she? What is her beliefs? Atleast i had dance to go to, and create some joy for me. But even that has gone away...i dont have any joy left to dance. Slowly losing the most important man of my life,my daddy, is slowly killing me as well. Im not sure how much he has left. In these times, i remember about those girls that supported me when he went to the hospital. Now im alone, walking a long road back to Jessica Solis. Trying to go day by day. Hiding a my sorrow, with a fake smile. Dying inside, i say "Im okay." Wanting to end all the pain by one cut, i say "No, i cant." I dont regret what happened. But i will regret if atleast by my 15th birthday, im not somewhat friends with those people. This post, is a realization that maybe i have to turn to blogging. I feel like, this meant help me with my pain. Word after Word...i will restore my self...Word by Word...Day by Day...




Im drawing a new page of my life. ~Jess